What is my purpose?

I have always wanted to do something good in my life. Something great! Something that would change someone or something. I've always wanted to be of help to somebody. I've also lived 30 years in fog. Never having a clear vision of what it is exactly I should be doing, or who I really am.  What is my passion exactly?

When I was younger I used to write stories. In fact, now that I say that, when I was younger I used to write stories. Weird. That's true. Such a very distant memory, so distant, was that truly in this life?
I wrote short stories. Sad stories In fact. I've always gloried in sadness. Often wishing sadness and heartache upon myself. Which is really strange because even though I have yet to suffer a physical ailment or loss. I would say that I have most definitely suffered extreme sadness and heartache. In my current days I am battling some depression that is trying to defeat me. Anyways, back to those days o wrote sad stories. I also used to write poetry. Always sad poetry of course. In high school I wrote a very sad poem about a girl who got pregnant at a young age. You can imagine my class and teacher's reaction when I read it aloud in class.  I had to then assure everyone the poem surely was not about me.

What happened to that girl that creatively wrote? Was it the last 15 years of addiction that destroyed me? Sounds about right.  Maybe that's what I still want to do with my life. Definitely an avenue worth exploring. A door worth reopening.