When I first got to the center I was informed that I wasn't allowed to pace the floor, shake my legs while sitting, stand for no reason and basically do anything other than sit still.
If you know me, you can imagine how hard that was for me. Some of the basic rules were, we weren't allowed to flush our own toilet, we had to eat 100% of the food that was given to us, we couldn't use the bathroom 30 minutes after eating, we were in bed by nine and up by six, if you refuse to eat your meal or finish it then you had to eat a meal replacement instead. If you refused to eat the meal replacement, there were consequences such as been put on bed rest, or forced to sit at a table by yourself and no talking for 24 hours.
The dietary part of the program was definitely the hardest. I was shocked when my first few days there I noticed that most of our snacks were heavy food items such as doughnuts, cake, pop tarts, ect. That first week, my body felt very unhappy. I felt like I was stuffed to the max and food was just going to be coming up from being so full.
Being at the treatment center was a very humbling experience. I've never been so stripped of my pride in my whole life. I learned how to sit. I sat a lot and learned that I can be bored and sit and do nothing.
I didn't make many friendships well I was there. I am such a reserved person. I really struggle to make connections with people. I spent most of my time not talking to anyone and sitting by myself pondering. It was an extremely lonely time.
There is no way I could've got in control of my diet had I not had the 24 hour supervision. I was able to get over the feelings of eating and to be able to eat without pain and guilt.
It was extremely hard and I'm not sure if I could ever do it again, but it was worth it.
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