Today I went to a work meeting, it's a new class I'm involved in to teach us about leadership and development. My general manager is one of those successful people. He has read all the great books that inspire and he is just one of those people that has a real grip on life and self control.
The class was inspiring. I felt like maybe I can be successful. Maybe I have the power to change and get what I want out of life.
But then I got home. My daughter asked me to put her hair in a pony tail. I tried real hard to get it smooth, she freaked out about some bumps. So I tried again, extra hard. I failed again. At this point I say I'm done trying. She is hysterically crying at this point that I can't do her hair and how all the girls at school ask her why I don't do her hair. She goes on about how she felt excited that I've been able to at least put her hair in cute ponies and how this mornings fail has completely ruined everything. The thoughts that are running through my head while all this is happening is that I'm a terrible mom that can't even do her daughters hair. I then jump on the downward spiral of negativity and suddenly I realize how much of a failure I am. How I have never achieved anything I've tried. How change is an impossible feat and how I should just give up on life because I suck. I feel like I'm a terrible person with no return. My kids hate me, I don't know how to parent. My husban is unhappy with me. I'm just failing at life and I'm done with it.
No comments:
Post a Comment