Costs:
My eating disorder and addictions have cost me a lot in life. It cost me my high school years. I didn’t get the experience that most high school students get. I missed out on the learning I needed and the memories and experiences I had were a blur. I missed out on lasting friendships and connections. After high school my eating disorder and addictions cost me continued education. It got me pregnant unmarried and unready. My eating disorder took happiness from me. It has costed my children the mother they deserved. It cost me memories that I have lost and blurred. It has cost me a close relationship with my husband, children and those around me. I feel like my eating disorder and addictions has taken the first 30 years of my life from me.
Consequences:
Due to my eating disorder and addictions my memory is not as sharp as it used to be. My teeth have suffered and are weak. My stomach and digestion is not what it should be. I suffer from extreme stomach aches and often nausea just from eating. My throat often hurts. My body image is distorted and I’ve lost self love. I have possibly hurt my liver and maybe suffered brain loss. I’m sure my bone density isn’t where it should be. My digestion process is slow. My nails and hair are brittle and grow slowly. My wounds take a long time to heal. I’m destroyed my finger and toenails from self harm. I’ve lost confidence.
Benefit:
The benefit of my eating disorder and addictions was it brought me relief. It helped me escape. It gave me something to do and reason to wake up. It numbed pain and feeling and brought what I thought felt like “joy” to my life.
I had a way to release my anxiety. In the beginning it brought weight loss and helped me feel better about myself. It allowed me to enjoy all the foods I wanted without all the consequences of excess calories. It filled the void.
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