I admit I am powerless over my addictions and my life is unmanageable.
That is a very easy step to take!
Step two
Come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.
I am not exactly sure where I'm at with this. Because if I really believed it and my life is unmanageable with me running it, then step 3 would be easy right?
Step Three
Make the decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand him.
I can't seem to do that. Which makes me feel like I don't truly believe he can heal me. I don't think it's that I don't believe he CAN, I just don't believe he Will. I suppose until I turn my will over to him, so I suppose step 2 and 3 are intertwined.
You know, life is just too damn hard. Is it this hard for everyone else? Like why does waking up and walking around while breathing feel so incredibly exhausting? Then, on top of just having to do those things I have life's responsibilities and on TOP OF ALL THAT, I'm suppose to some how have time and energy to work a recovery program. That's tiring. I am tired.
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